Posted by
Redhead on Saturday, August 30, 2008 9:44:30 PM
Those of the Crimson Cranium cabal love money. As such, the Crimson Apex Solidarity Horde is proud to announce their latest program: the Scarlet Collection of Assets Mechanism.
The S.C.A.M. program will henceforth be set up to collect funds from our dark- and light-haired oppressors. As of the current embodiment of this program, C.A.S.H. members will not be required to contribute. This is subject to change, however, depending on administrative costs and other factors.
Proceeds from S.C.A.M will initially go towards education efforts to highlight the plight of the Red Headed Human. Such education programs will highlight such tribulations as public harassment due to spotted pigmentation, the effects of the sun on those of the extreme fair skinned, red haired persuasion, and the potential emotional harm that can happen from handling our hair without our go-ahead, or conspicuous constant colloquial requests to confirm the colossal keenness for coupling.
After education efforts get underway, it is hoped that the S.C.A.M. program will also serve to enrich the lives of those Ginger groups who have been especially harmed through discrimination, harassment, and bigotry. Most prominent among these groups are the members of the Crimson Apex Town Hall’ers (CATHeters (Because we’ll take the fight straight to your pee-hole!)) as noted on the sidebar to the right.
It should be noted that the S.C.A.M. program is currently a voluntary program. This is subject to change as well, and will be evaluated periodically based on the number of donations received, the convenience of corporate cash and the quantity of Crimson Cranium corporate cronies at each location, as well as an assessment to ensure a large percentage of the CATHeter members blogs appear on other Town Hall blogrolls.
C.A.S.H. also reserves the right to evaluate the need for Red Head Reparations based on the success of the S.C.A.M. program.
On a side note:
It appears after preliminary analysis that the newly named Vice Presidential nominee for the Republican Party has Red Hair, and therefore gets the endorsement of C.A.S.H. It’s just a shame that we cannot just get a VP without having to take a P!
C.A.S.H.: Because Red is more than just a State of Mind; Red is Right!