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Redneck Gun Control

Posted by Redhead on Thursday, March 27, 2008 9:41:01 PM

This has probably made the e-mail rounds a few times now, and I’ve posted this before, in comments and such, but thought this would be a good place to post it again on my blog. Complete with links, this time.

10: Always keep your gun pointed in a safe direction, such as at a hippy or a communist.

9: Dumb children may get a hold of your guns and shoot each other or themselves.  If your children are dumb, place them for adoption to protect your guns.

8: No matter how responsible he seems, never give your gun to a monkey.

7: If guns make you nervous, drink a few shots of whiskey before heading to the range.

6: When unholstering your weapon, it is customary to say, "Excuse me while I whip this out."

5: If your gun misfires, never look down the barrel to inspect it.  Have someone else do it for you.

4: Never use your gun to pistol whip someone.  It could mar the finish.

3: Never draw your gun unless you are ready to shoot something or are just feeling generally angry.

2: No matter how happy you are to buy a gun, never run around yelling, "I have a gun!  I have a gun!"

1: And the most important rule of gun safety: Don't pizz me off!
 
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Gun Control vs. Government Protection

Posted by Redhead on Monday, March 24, 2008 10:54:18 PM

This is part five of an ongoing series on Liberal Logic.  You can see the whole proposed set here.
 

So many liberals want to get weapons out of the hands of the people and leave us to rely on government (police) protection, yet they complain about police cruelty and the inadequacies of FEMA.

            

Without guns, We the People, have the potential of becoming victims of government abuses and excesses. This is the very reason behind the 2nd Amendment. But if the people were disarmed, it would make it much easier for The Party to collect taxes from the evil rich?
 
I have heard that the East’s first experimentation with banning weapons of all kinds led to the development of many martial arts styles, which enabled the general population to train to defend itself without visible weapons. Other than some great movies, however, I have been unable to verify this.
 
In America, the history of gun control begins with racism. The slaveholders knew that it would be impossible to keep their slaves if they were allowed to have firearms. This attitude continued after the civil war, as armed whites would terrorize their black neighbors who could not defend themselves. This continued through many gun control laws which sought to keep guns out of the hands of the generally poor minorities.
 
Today, many gun control laws take the form of keeping guns out of the hands of criminals. While most could agree that some people cannot be trusted with a firearm, these laws also largely target minorities.

In my opinion, the right to keep and bear arms means that anyone with the means and desire should be able to purchase, or build, any weapon that is utilized by our military.
 
The argument against guns is usually put forth by those who should not be trusted with a butter knife. These same people, however, would not think of advertising their views to the general, lowlife public. This is where gun control also conflicts with evolution. It seems that, like global warming, guns, in the hands of the right people, can help the human race to evolve!
 
So why do liberals want to remove our only means of defending ourselves from those who may seek to do us harm? Why do they wish to leave us at the mercy of a governing class who often cares more for their own power then the liberty of We the People? The answer, my friends, is simple:
 
It’s not about Guns, it’s about Control.
 
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Congratulate Me!

Posted by Redhead on Thursday, March 20, 2008 10:42:25 PM
Congratulate me! I’m going to be a Daddy!

Again!

I guess being a TH neighbor to this guy has really taken its toll.

This will be number four! for my wife and me. My three daughters are the most beautiful kids you’ve ever seen. I’m not talking about that, “my, what pretty little girls!” type beauty, either. You know, we all want to make the world a better, more beautiful place. Toward that end, some people write poetry, some take photographs, some draw cartoons. My wife and I make babies. Beautiful babies! If you don’t believe me, just ask my mother.

Now, if I was a proud liberal father, I could post pictures of my beloved children like this, this, or this. As a security minded conservative, though, I am not going to post any.

One of my three little girls has had the good fortune to acquire Daddy’s burgundy locks. The other two (sigh) are blonde, like my wife. And I do mean blonde. So far, the two that are speaking have that adorable southern twang already as well, even though I don’t. (And ya’ll don’t know no better, ‘cause ya’ll’re on the internet, and cain’t hear me talk.)
 
By the way, this one’s a BOY!
 
Thank you, thank you very much.
 
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Evolution vs. Animal Protection

Posted by Redhead on Monday, March 17, 2008 9:12:09 PM

This is part four of an ongoing series on Liberal Logic. You can see the whole proposed set here.

This is similar to the previous post on evolution vs. climate change, but here I hope to explore the incessant need to push those dying whales back into the ocean rather than chop them up for food, or to save the Flat-spired three-toothed Snail, in view of evolution.

Animals evolve through natural selection to ensure species survival. This often occurs due to changes in the environment. This can involve human or natural intervention. Yet when humans intervene to encourage evolution, the animal rights crowd goes nuts!

If Darwinian evolution is right, then man is just the end product of the evolutionary process, the winner in the evolutionary survival of the fittest. Well, to the victors go the spoils. Unfortunately, there are those out there who oppose this rational view, even though it may actually be better for the environment. As the top animals, we also enjoy some of the same habits that the lower life forms do.

Again, if Darwin is right, then as the top dogs in the process, we should also be doing our part to encourage those who have not benefited as much as we have from the process to climb up the evolutionary ladder and become productive members of society. So we provide them jobs, and help them to imitate us, and give them the skills necessary to survive in the modern world. In time, the animals may be able to enjoy all of the same pastimes we do. Yet some oppose this, as well.

Another way to encourage animals to evolve, and to protect their resources, is to ensure that they are useful to humans. Whether it’s for food, clothing, shelter, or just for fun, hunters and those that profit from animals will seek to protect their livestock. Some don’t see this, however. Thankfully, others understand and are dedicated to stopping this madness in order to see to it that animals, too, are free to select their fittest members for survival.

So why do these people want to stop the top evolutionary animals, We the People, from taking part in and guiding Darwin’s Great Works? Why do they want to stop the lower life forms from evolving and becoming the best they can be? The answer, my friends, is simple.

It’s not about Animal Rights, it’s about Control.

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Redneck Business

Posted by Redhead on Thursday, March 13, 2008 11:19:15 PM

Rednecks love private business. Except for the 90’s, Rednecks were poorly represented by the government. We also have a poor record when it comes to interacting with government agencies.

Historically, rednecks have done extremely well when it comes to business management, with or without government say, so. Here in my own patch of woods, a few businesses have done very well, despite, or because of, government restrictions. We have also done well in businesses that are unfavorable with the big government crowd.

In other business endeavors, many redneck businesses have managed to penetrate the Naugahyde ceiling that stands over all rednecks, preventing our acceptance into the higher echelons of the world. One of my favorite stops, and recognized the world over for their atmosphere and fine dining, has done so. We have also taken on the auto industry in our own fashion. We even have our own amusement parks and sports! And our success in the comedy industry is legendary!

There are also many smaller places in which rednecks excel in business. Hungry and want to go fishing? Ready to go hunting, or take on the second amendment? Looking for something extra for your sweet-heart? Rednecks can deliver!

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Capitalism vs. Democracy

Posted by Redhead on Monday, March 10, 2008 6:39:47 PM

This is part three of an ongoing series on Liberal Logic.  You can see the whole proposed set here.

Why is it that so many “Democrats” hate Capitalism, when Capitalism and Democracy are nearly one and the same? This is explored at Fletch for Freedom in one of the many fine essays, here, but I will explore the issue from my own standpoint, trying to highlight some of the illogical inconsistencies in the liberal position.

Capitalism, in its purest form, is Democracy, every minute of every day, using money to cast votes. A business (politician) that does not offer the consumer (voter) something that they want will not get their money (votes). So why is it that liberals, who identify with the Democrat Party, are afraid of this? Could it be that they are actually afraid of the voters?

A business must do whatever he can to stay in business. He must advertise, cut costs, and provide good customer service. Occasionally, he fails in his efforts, and does not gather enough support from his customers to stay in business.  At this point, he must take down his shingle and call it a day. Perhaps he will try it again another time.

In this way, capitalism also agrees with evolution. Those businesses that cannot find a market can and should die out. Those best able to “fit” market demands will thrive. This results in great efficiency in the market, as businesses, and people, struggle to maximize their use of resources to survive. To artificially interfere with the market, through government action of any sort, interferes with this evolution. So why can’t they leave things alone to evolve the way they were meant to?

It may be that in the end, the Democrat Party in general, and liberals in particular, are afraid of what We, the People, will ultimately choose. We may like shopping at Wal-Mart, Exxon, and Walgreens. We like the prices they charge. We like their conveniences. We like that they employ people in our neighborhoods. We are not telling people that they must shop there. Why do they try to tell us that we must not?

One of the beautiful things about a Capitalist Republic is that the people are freer to pursue happiness. If you want to try to sell water for nearly $10 / gallon, so be it. If you want to go out with a bunch of your loser friends, and isolate yourself, and start your own little commune, then you are free to do so. Under a socialist system, the very act of buying or selling a product without the state’s approval is necessarily banned.

Free Trade also fits into this mold. Protectionist policies seek to restrain the American spirit. Those that would put them in place are saying that we cannot compete with others. They are saying that we are not the best, that we are not the smartest. America achieved greatness through competition in the marketplace. It is through competition that we have become the best. Free trade protects our American spirit, our competitive edge, and our sovereignty. Free trade can restore the old self-sufficiency and independence of the United States. America is based on competition. Those who would restrict competition restrict America. The destruction of competition is the destruction of America.

So why are liberals so afraid of Democracy? Why can they not let businesses evolve on their own? Why must they tell us who, where, and when we can buy what products? Why are they against competition in the marketplace? The answer, my friends, is simple:

It’s not about Capitalism, it’s about Control.
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Where do Redhead babies come from?

Posted by Redhead on Thursday, March 06, 2008 6:16:37 PM
Let me assure you first, this post has been vetted by both CASH and SHAM. I have also paid the appropriate Insult Offsets, although it really isn’t necessary because I have red hair.


After their baby was born, a panicked father went to see the obstetrician.


"Doctor," the man said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair.  She can't possibly be mine."


"Nonsense," the doctor said.  "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool."


"It isn't possible," the man insisted.  "This can't be; our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations."

"Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?"

 

The man seemed a bit ashamed. "I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months."

 

"Well, there you have it!"  The doctor said confidently. "It's rust."

 

 

Global warming update: Could these senseless deaths been prevented by Global Warming?

 

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Big Government vs. Big Business

Posted by Redhead on Monday, March 03, 2008 10:19:26 AM

This is part two of an ongoing series on Liberal Logic. You can see the whole proposed set