I would like to take this opportunity to announce the creation of the Crimson Apex Solidarity Horde (CASH). CASH will defend all of those with Crimson Apexes against the horrible slurs of those who would exterminate us. To become a member, sign up below. We will work in concert with Sharpton Management, Inc ( SHAM ) The first order of business will be to abolish the term Redhead. This is a term which we object to most strongly as being derogatory. Our head is not red. Except after being in the sun for a few minutes. Our hair is not red. It ranges from Burgundy to Ruby. Our colors are as varied as the executives of the Rainbow Coalition. The term “the R-word” may be substituted in place of Redhead, but only when quoting some lowlife who used the actual word. If you refer to anyone as “that R-word” we will know what you meant, and sue you to oblivion. The second order of business will be to go to court to defend those who have been besmirched by those who oppose us. All funds received from said extortion, err, rightful judgments, will be used for the hallowed purpose of providing scholarships and living expenses for our chosen members, members children, and mistresses. As President of CASH, I will have to take a very small percentage for my own expenses, such as a new Jaguar and private jet. CASH would like to hereby come out in support of SHAM in banning the term "knappy head." Especially by anyone who does not have a knappy head. We would also like to express solidarity with our slandered brothers and sisters and call for an all out ban of the following terms:
Blockhead Forehead Fivehead (as someone with a large forehead) Round Headed Kid Chrome dome
Also:
Redneck Blue Blood Redblooded Yellow belly Brown shoe
As a further note, we would like to announce that Anyone who hereby addresses me as Redhead will be sued into oblivion. Unless they have a Crimson Apex. Then it is just a harmless joke between likewise oppressed peoples. Or they've pre-paid for the privilege. You may sign up on my blog. We accept VISA, but we prefer cash.
Thank you for your support.
Keith Olbermann may contact us at 1-555-RED-HEAD for interviews.
(Note: Mr. Obermann may not repeat the phone number as written on the air, but must figure out what the numbers are. I will say it when I appear on his show, so that his 15 viewers may remember it easier.)
To return to the ideas that the founders advocated we must begin to return the power to the people of this country. The Constitution and the Bill of Rights are full of Limitations on Government, not to the people. We must return to this idea. This will take three steps.1) Term Limits.
We must return to the Citizen Senator. Or actually the Citizen Representative. Term limits for Senators should not be necessary if we enact Number 2, below.
2) Repeal the 17th Amendment.
The States no longer have any representation in the U.S. Government. They are being trampled over by those that could care less about their home state, or state’s rights, and only care about getting elected to power.
3) Fair Tax.
This will not only create a tax system for the federal government that is more fair, encourages savings, and benefits the economy, it will return much more power to the people. Much, if not most (I’m sure someone could come up with a number), of the lobbying that goes on in Congress is for changes in the tax code. Under the fair tax, there would be no lobbying for tax breaks for one lobby group, or lobbying for tax increases for another group.
To be fair, these are not entirely my ideas. I think that Neal Boortz has advocated all three, if not just the last two, for years. I also don’t think that this will ever happen. It would mean OUR representatives turning over their power back to us, the people.